it is no easy thing to find a friend along the way, i mean the friend whose smile extends, beyond a single day... who has a word of praise, for everything you do & when misfortune turns the tide, is still a friend to you. the kind of friend whose attitude is never dark or cold. but who is always loyal & who has a heart of gold.
-James J. Metcalfe


life is full of people who will make you laugh, cry, smile until your face hurts, and so happy that you think you'll burst. but the ones who leave their footprints on your soul are the ones that keep your life going.
-Nathalie Bernot

Friday, September 28, 2007

i should stop sleeping anywhere else except in my house. because i get very grouchy when i wake up.

and the rain didn't really help. but because the bunch of people me around was being retarded, so i joined in the fun too. for a little while. haha. so we ended up 'singing in the rain'. okay. maybe not singing. screeching would be a more appropriate word. we were trying to reach a note as high as possible, starting from middle C. (yes, that's us. the music bunch.) and my throat hurts really bad just now, cause i strained it too much. but it's better now, because i've had my green tea. (:

so it's down to the final week of school. i've told myself that i will sing the school song on monday. it's the last school song at morning assembly. ):

i'm really sad and scared of leaving school. i know there's still the o levels, but that's different. oh my gosh. i really can't stand the thought of leaving school. i'll never be able to walk along those familiar gounds everyday. i'll never be able to see familiar faces around me. ETC.

i really don't know how to express myself. well, i can't. it's like a lump in my throat, and in this case, i can't type it out here. (and no, it's not my sore throat.) i wonder how heavy my heart weighs. (no, i'm not trying to be funny.)

you know what. just a stop from tkgs, is the tanjong katong branch of canadian international school. i started wondering what would have happened if i had gone to canadian international school. but i ended up concluding that i'm glad i didn't go. cause i've totally fallen in love with the people around me.

and i have to say this. you'll never know how much i love the mep er 'clique'! because we do so much retarded stuff together, have many endless but memorable conversations, always trying to decide on a place to eat because we are so sick of school food (and always end up standing under the hot sun to decide), swooning over shilbe's singing (okay, maybe that's me and nat only), having ice cream during the break in sec 3, ETC. and for mep lessons, they are the fun-est lesson you can ever get. seriously. and i get to have nice conversations with nat. i'll really really miss mep lessons. ):

[EDIT] i left out one thing. the time when we went to popular to get files for our music writing portfolio. unforgettable. we stayed at popular for more than half an hour because there wasn't enough files for everyone and we searched high and low for them, we found out that we had extra files after we've paid (after endless countings too) and then we returned the files (and in the process changed some files too). [/EDIT]

[anyway most memorable: i keep breaking down during mep lesson, my hair will always look its best during mep lesson (HAHA! i bet yixiu will remember that!) and i get very high]

i don't know how i'll ever carry on without them. well, i get to experience that next year. oh well. it's so depressing to think about this. and o levels are not even over yet.

it's daddy's last day today. so he had gotten a helium balloon which says goodbye and good luck. i felt like crying when i saw that, even though it's not even mine. but it's heart-breaking to see that kind of message. and he had a very pretty bouquet of flowers. and a farewell scrap book. i went through it (haha!) and it was so heart-warming and heart-breaking. and it's not even for me! goodness. but SIGH. even though i've always said i wanted a nice farewell, but deep in my heart i know i wouldn't even want a farewell, cause that would mean goodbye.

composing time! jiayou vicki!
au revoir!

i shall do dedications to the mep clique the next time round! (well, i'll try. haha!)

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

7:20 AM

Thursday, September 27, 2007

my thoughts were running wild again today. thus, my change in character, i.e. the unusual quiet-ness.

OH WELL. i hate it when my thoughts run wild. and then i'll start self-pitying. i can't stand myself. i wonder how can anyone tolerate me.

know what. i'm going to start my period of self-hatred again.

i screwed up my scales anyway. and my sight-reading. HAH. i stumbled. (duh) since when don't i stumble. but anyway. yes. i'm angry with myself over the scales. BECAUSE i could have practised. but i refuse to. serve me right.

i've decided not to hand in my compositions tomorrow. so if miss sim wants to kill me, there's nothing i can do too.

au revoir.

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

5:04 AM

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

olivia ho made my day today!

although it was a small thing of merely recounting the past, it couldn't stop me from smiling on the bus ride home. so i've made two new discoveries about oli today! first one doesn't concern me, so i shall not talk about it. although i have no idea why i was so shocked. didn't expect it i guess.

alright! the second discovery was that oli does have a pretty good memory. although it was just one incident, and a significant one which made me bear a grudge against her, but still! back then, that incident wasn't pleasant at all and i was the 'victim'. furthermore i didn't dare to protest because i used to be scared of her. but anyway, it was so interesting when we talked about it just now. i'm glad that oli finally know that she nearly made me cry in class. HAHA.

just knowing that oli remembers the incident is enough to make me happyyy. i thought she had forgotten all about it, cause she kept denying that she used to bully me!

but anyway, my confession of the day:
I LOVE YOU OLIVIA HO!

i don't really care if that just boosted your ego again, but i had to confess!

alright. ABRSM violin exam tomorrow! i better go practice. i don't want to fail. ):

au revoir!

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

9:39 AM

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

there seem to be so many things going through my mind now. but yet i don't know exactly what i'm troubled about.

i shall just blog a short post today. VERON. go to the previous post if you're here today!

i wonder why there's this surge of sadness. i'm pretty sure i'm not bothered by my amath results. (and i'm quite satisfied with my ss results.) i'm not feeling sad because of my studies. i'm not troubled by the possibility of getting half more mark for mep. neither am i anxious about my compositions.

SIGH. know what, it sucks when you're not able to cheer someone up. it sucks too when someone blatantly ignores/avoids you. i thought we could still be friends. i guess it's my attitude. i could have shown some initiative. ):

OH WELL. i'm just... sad. i don't think i've got any explanation for that.

and vicki has got to focus on her compositions. finish it!
two composition and one write-up done. two more composition and three more write-ups to go!

and i've got 'reunion' dinner tonight. with my uncle who is in singapore for a meeting and my father's friend. so i better be off to finish my homework and stuff.

alright.
au revoir!

i think i've gotten very annoying lately. just go away, vicki.

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

5:14 AM

Monday, September 24, 2007

i promised i'll dedicate this post to veron! (:

VERONICA CHAN. register number 36. one after mine. ((:
thus this makes her my lab partner. my entertainer during morning assembly, exam periods and checking of scripts. OH. and my sleeping partner in class before assembly, together with jana.

so yes. i just found out today, when we were checking our english paper 1, that veron is leaving for the states at the end of this year. (apparently, my compo talked about me going back to canada, so thus this discovery.) this piece of news is so saddening. veron is leaving so soon, even sooner than me. end of year isn't THAT far away you know.

anyway let's talk about me and veron 's life story. veron used to be my entertainer during exam periods all the way back to primary school. because our register numbers were always the last few, so we usually had to wait a LONG time before, lets say, oral exam. so in primary school, the few of us would normally sit together and gossip. that was our bonding sessions and they were really fun. but veron and i got separated when we came to tkgs. cause we were in different class. BUT we reunited in sec 3 again! it was always great fun having veron around, and i would never get bored. especially since i don't really interact with the scholars. (OPPS)

and to think that i got to be separated from veron again! oh well. nevermind! at least, when i return to canada, we two will be closer! wisconsin isn't very far from toronto. i just checked the map! i'll go visit you during summer and christmas break alright! you must come and visit me too! (:

alright! i should get back to my compositions! one done. three to go. and did i mention that i fell in love with my Pentatonic Wonders. the 'jap' part sounds like a serenade. oh my. my heart practically melted when i heard that part. i know this is kind of exaggerating, since i was the one who composed to piece.

anyway i just got to announce that i've got my A1 for english. YAY. i was so scared that i couldn't get it. i better do alright for the rest of the subjects, so that they won't ruin my L1R5.

au revoir!

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

6:47 AM

Saturday, September 22, 2007

that incident still bothers me. i still do wonder if she had heard it. but i've convinced myself that she had. and i'm feeling very guilty and apologetic. if i've said it for the correct reason, would i be feeling this way? was i really concerned?

it just seems like history has repeated itself. this whole thing. why do i always have this kind of problems? i don't want. it must be me. the one who keep taking the wrong steps. it must be the way i treat people. well, i guess there's no going back. is there?

anyway i shouldn't get depressed or what not. (even though i'm really very sorry.)

because this period of time is depressing, since it is the release of prelim results. so, i've got to go around giving people hugs! yay. i'm sorry if you really don't want one, alright? but i'm supposed to be everyone's sunshine and happy pill! (as well as annoying pill.) ah well. spreading happiness to people is a joy.

alright.
au revoir.

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

10:15 AM

Thursday, September 20, 2007

i'm so sorry for whining so much just now. but i just can't get over the fact that it's 0.1 mark to an A1.

so yes. prelim results are starting to be released. there had been joy, but more disappointment. i have no idea why i'm feeling disappointed because i didn't even study hard/try my best for prelims. oh well. human nature i guess.

oh gosh. i still can't get over my 0.1 mark for MEP. i should have performed better. why the hell did i panic? why on earth did i scare myself before the practical? it's cause of my stupidity of doing all these that i miss my A1 by 0.1 mark. but okay lar. i do admit that i did well for the paper. and as long as my music writing coursework doesn't go lower than my prelim mark, i still have a chance of getting a distinction.

okay. vicki. let it go.

i suddenly want to go to a good jc. i announced it to the world half the world today. and nat's reaction was 'you changed your mind?' well, i guess. because going to university by next year seems very far-fetched, by looking at my results now. i guess going to a jc seems like a more practical way out. but going to a good jc seems impossible to me.

i'm beginning to lose my confidence. i'm starting to feel very demoralised. and the thing is, 'O' levels haven't even started. ):

MEP composing portfolio is by next week! actually 'O' levels have already started, cause we've already did our coursework. but composing portfolio is more important, kind of. so yes. i'm going to rush my 4 pieces again. so expect to see me online all day long. (though being online and composing doesn't have any link at all.)

alright.
au revoir!

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

5:44 AM

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

it's just four more papers to go. ((:

chinese paper 2. biology paper 1. chemistry paper 1. and physics paper 1. YAY.

oh my. i can't wait for them to be over. and i can't be bothered to think about how badly i've done. oh well. no point stressing myself when i'm already so stressed with studying. but one thing. physics paper 2 seriously sucks.

and and and i got really high before emath paper 2 today! that isn't a good thing. jialing's fault. AHHH. i think i seriously embarrassed myself. (sheesh) jialing's fault. everyone went 'since when were you like that'. ahhh. jialing's fault! HAHA. no lar. not jialing's fault. it's just me and that thing that made me high. AHHH.

i should just go and study chinese. i shouldn't remind myself of that incident. (AHHH)

au revoir!

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

4:50 AM

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

i think i'm in a good mood today. i just can't seem to stop smiling.

i did one chinese paper 2 so far! hoho. that's an achievement. since i haven't done anything for the past few days. i shall do one emath paper 2 later. and study physics! i seem to be very excited about studying today. hmm.

seeing nat/oli 's tag on my tagboard made me smile. (be honoured alright. hehe) and it made me feel even happier. (it's either that or it's the songs i'm listening to. hmm) oh yes. nat's blog makes me happy too! or more like her post. not that my name appears on it, but the incident was really funny alright. nat's expression was priceless. (:

these are little things that make me happy i guess. and because i feel so happy, it gets my tear glands active. oh well. i feel so blessed. and touched.

thank you darlings for making a difference in my life.
whether you've scolded me, screamed at me, laughed with me, laughed AT me, call me sexy, or refusing to call me sexy, call me pretty, call me picky, etc. ((:

alright. back to the books. (i really need a life. all i'm doing now is to either sit in front of the computer or the textbooks. hah.)

au revoir!

vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!

3:43 AM

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